HEARTBREAK.

  • 02.08.2017 kl. 16:37

Broken heart
Licensed from: Grafvision / yayimages.com

How long does it take to get over someone that you were once so deeply, madly in love with. Days, weeks, months, years? That's the question on everyone's minds when they experience heartbreak, isn't it?

Heartbreak is pain I would never wish upon anyone. You're losing the one that you love and your best friend, all in one fell swoop. The pain you feel now, resembles the pain you feel when someone close to you dies. You grieve for them the same way, you just move on a little differently, because they're still alive, living their lives, just without you in it and that's something you have to learn to except. You're grieving someone that you could be with, but for whatever reason you just can't.

Heartbreak is.. well.. it just sucks, there's no other way to put it, it just plain sucks. It feels like someone rips out your heart, breaks it into a million pieces, hands them over to you and says, "here, now put it all back together again". I really think it's amazing that we manage to deal with it the way that we do. That we manage to heal and move on from that and live our lives again. Because really, it seems like an impossible thing to do, doesn't it?

You never go into a relationship prepared to say goodbye, you can't, because what would be the point? What would be the point in being with someone that you didn't believed it would work out with, none. You just have to take that risk and hope for the best. Love is just a big leap of faith, it's scary and wonderful all at the same time. It's almost impossible to say no to, even when you know it's wrong for you. Your heart just finds a way to take control, over your brain, over your body, over you. You never know when it's going to hit you or where it's going to take you, but that's what makes it so magical. You just put your heart in this other person's hands and hope for dear life that they take care of it. Then you just take the leap.

Falling in love is amazing, being in love is amazing, but love is definitely something I think many of us take for granted. Slowly after time, we might forget how important that love is for us to hold onto. We forget what lies behind the arguments, the disagreements and the tears. We forget how important that one person really is too us. We forget who we are, comprimize too much, lose ourselves in the love that we have for each other or we just simply lose track of each others needs,  get to comfortable, maybe a little lazy.

Eather way, we ultimately become unhappy, because we are not taking care of each other or ourselves and that's when we lose it all. There are also some that meet at the wrong time, at the wrong age, even in the wrong place. Some get stuck in an abusive relationships or in one that is toxic. Some are in relationships where the other has fallen out of love or just simply given up. Some cheat or get cheated on, some even meet someone else. Some lie to much or hide certain things from their partner. Some are stuck in difficult circumstances they can not control and some are just simply with the wrong person. Either way, it's a painful end, for at least one of you.

Letting go of someone is the hardest thing in the world to do. You are grieving the loss of a person that was once the most important person in your life. You're mending your heart, maybe even forcing yourself to fall out of love with someone. It's excruciatingly painful and emotionally draining. You're constantly haunted by what your relationship was and what it could have been. You just miss it, you miss them, you miss your person. You remember all the good memories you shared, the places you went, the plans you had together and all your little inside jokes. You hear them laugh, you see them smile, you even feel their touch and it's painful, cruel even, but you can't stop it. It's like your brain has to show you all of the memory tapes, before it can archive them in the "lost box". You have to feel every emotion, all the happiness and all the pain, so that you can move on.

The first few months are the absolute worst. This is when you fall into a deep hole of depression, aka heartbreak. All you want to do is call them, just to hear there voice, just for a second, even if it means hanging up right after, but you don't, if you know what's good for you, you don't. You just suck in the pain and let the urge go, so that you can move on. You might find yourself feeling a little lost, not knowing witch direction you are going in and for every step forward, you fall two steps back, because you suddenly see them, in a photo, in a place that you went together, in a show you used to watch. You see the memories flash in the back of your mind and the tears start forcing their way down your cheeks again and then you fall back those two steps. It's frustrating and it makes you feel like it's impossible get over them.

You start thinking of all the ways that you could have saved the relationship, stopped it from falling apart, but you will soon figure out, that it's not just in your hands. You can't fix it all on your own, it takes two people and that will definitely sting a little, (a lot). You will also learn that love, on it's own, can not save a relationship and that relationships can have open endings that may be caused by other things than lack of love. You might start thinking "maybe I will never get over it, maybe I will always have hope, maybe it will always hurt?" You can't eat, you can't sleep, you can't breathe cause you miss them so much and the end of the pain just seems to far away to bare.

Then it gets better. Suddenly, with no warning, that amazing day comes. The day when you forget, just for a second, that you're miserable and that, that is the beginning of your healing process. You start eating a little, you might find yourself laughing at something, you start breathing a little easier and your brain feels clearer. You slowly start putting the pieces of you heart back together. You start living your life again and the pain is now slowly disappearing. You start feeling like your old self again, maybe even a new and improved self. Your confidence is on it's way up and you're slowly moving forward, no steps back this time. Every day gets better. Every tear helps you move on, every emotion helps you put the pieces back together and finally you start feeling in control of your life again.

This is the good part, this is when you start moving on, but it's also the slowest part. This part takes the longest, but it also guarantees less pain daily, and that helps you deal with the slowness of it all. I wish I could tell you that after you hit the 8 month mark, that you will magically be healed and will no longer have any scars of your past realationship, but I just can't. It doesn't work like that. The truth is that you heal slowly, it hurts and it's hard, maybe even the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. It takes time, for some more than others, witch is why there's no timestamp for the ending, unfortunately. But what I can say is that it gets easier, every day. You will make it to the other side of that heartbreak. It will get better.

It has now been one year after my very first heartbreak and I still feel the pain. It's deep in there, but I still feel it. I still have some days where I may miss our relationship, miss the way it used to be, miss him. There are days where I might see his picture and feel a little sting in my heart, but mostly I'm ok. I have moved on with my life and become a person that can actually take care of myself, witch trust me is a BIG change for me. I set boundaries, say no and put myself fist. Witch is something I have always wanted for myself.

Sometimes I still do wonder if he will always have a place in my heart, but that answer will probably reveal itself over time. I'm just taking it one day at the time and learning as I go. I really love my life right now. I love the person that I have become and I love all the people in my life. I'm happy. I feel for the first time ever that I'm becoming who I always wanted to be and that feels amazing, so for now that's enough for me.

-Tessa

#blogg #blog #innlegg #hverdag #onsdag #sommer #kjærlighet #sorg #kjærlighetssorg #love #heartbreak #engelsk #english #grieving #tessabennett

livetmitt93

02.08.2017 kl. 17:00
<3

Tessa Bennett

02.09.2017 kl. 22:33
livetmitt93: <3

lisebrevik

02.08.2017 kl. 20:50
<3 <3

Tessa Bennett

04.09.2017 kl. 11:54
lisebrevik: <3 <3

spisogspar

02.08.2017 kl. 22:03
<3

Tessa Bennett

04.09.2017 kl. 11:54
spisogspar: <3

Lea K. Brænden

03.08.2017 kl. 01:02
Utrolig fint skrevet, har vært igjennom et ganske tøft brudd for et par år siden og selv etter alt som skjedde har han fortsatt en plass i hjertet mitt. Jeg tror aldri at man kan komme helt over en person, man bare finner en måte å leve med det på :)

Tessa Bennett

04.09.2017 kl. 11:57
Lea K. Brænden: Tusen takk snille deg! <3 Uff, så trist å høre.. Det er litt vanskelig å unngå kjærlighetssorg.. Alle går gjennom det minst en gang i livet sitt, men som du sier, man finner en måte å gå videre med livet sitt :)

Iselin Renée

05.08.2017 kl. 11:13
<3

Tessa Bennett

04.09.2017 kl. 11:57
Iselin Renée: <3

Lola

07.08.2017 kl. 18:26
i have been through the same and it is exactly how you described it. I just wanted to reach out to you about something and wanted your advice if that is okay with you. I just feel like you're a genuine and good person and that is why i wanted to reach out. so if you can, just let me know. <3 xoxo

Tessa Bennett

04.09.2017 kl. 12:04
Lola: First of all I'm sorry for the late response.. I'm also very sorry to hear that you have been heartbroken too.. It's hard to avoid, I guess it's kind of inevitable that it will happen at some point in your life, but it's still hard to deal with. Absolutely, just send me an e-mail or message me on my facebook page and I will answer. Thank you so much for your kind words <3

Hellaaa

10.09.2017 kl. 14:28
Så fint skrevet :)

Tessa Bennett

10.09.2017 kl. 19:07
Hellaaa: Tusen takk snille deg <3
Tessa Bennett

Hei og velkommen til min blogg! Jeg heter Tessa. Jeg er en 23 år gammel jente, som for øyeblikket bor i Drammen. På denne bloggen finner dere litt av alt. Jeg liker å skrive om livet mitt, lage YouTube videoer, spise mat og være kreativ. Håper dere liker bloggen min ♥


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